Present Amber: It’s a Wonderful Life!
I moved to Utah three years ago with a hopeful vision of partnership. Such a profound intention shared by two people can bring deep healing of old patterns if we are willing to walk the path. Eric and I are living separately for this, our fourth year, allowing spaciousness to further our individual healing processes. In the bedrock of my heart this feels right, but at times it is hard, confusing, frustrating, and just plain uncertain. I have found myself doubting the choices I have made along my path and wondering if indeed I do have something of value to offer to my community, my village.
Friday after Thanksgiving, while visiting Eric in Boulder Town, we had a movie day. In It’s a Wonderful Life, George Bailey keeps missing out on his dreams of travel and adventure, but gets supernatural help to realize how important and blessed his ordinary life really is. Then in The Wizard of Oz, Dorothy has a similarly out-of-this-world experience to show her how much her home and family mean to her. We both cried a lot that day… And I am heartened by these modern myths of the hero’s journey.
When we bring groups of students together to lie down at the feet of the trees, our heart-sharing seems to always have a theme. There was just one time when Eric said he didn’t think we had a theme, but later I was gifted this song incorporating pieces from our sharing that day, which I call Messages from Bristlecone Pine:
Close your eyes.
What’s your hurry?
Sit yourself down here in the shade.
Take off your shoes.
Come a little bit closer.
Sit very still, lift up your face.
If you climb up in my branches, you will be held like a child.
We’re not so very different, you and I.
There was a footpath
Long before the road,
So many people have come and gone.
High on this cliff face
My roots grow strong,
You have roots too, can you feel where you belong?
If you climb out to the edges,
You will know an awesome view.
Your fear can never get the best of you.
There’s more to life
Than meets your eyes,
But you have other eyes in your soul.
With each irritation,
Each bump in the road,
We grow more lovely, you and I, as we grow old.
If you look inside my body, you’ll see ring on ring on ring.
We need never ever forget we are part of everything.
Open to your life. Open to your life. Open to your life.
We are alive.